While I am going to make my post on the short and sweet side tonight – well, short anyway, I did want to make sure I posted at least a little something on the 1st of March... at least enough to explain the odd little kangaroo on the right of this page.
A blogger that I have recently started reading, Chile from http://chilechews.blogspot.com/ made a rather intriguing challenge for March. The gauntlet to avoid the stresses of March Madness and replace them with a month of mindfulness and attempts to avoid stressing out was laid before her readers... and as I am nothing but an eager follower (I think I just heard all those who know me in real life snort their drinks into their keyboards.) I decided to give it a whirl. Initially I joined out of a curiosity to see if I was actually capable of stemming some of the frenetic energy I constantly run on. The Prime Geek is a mountain of zen calm when compared to my hyper kinetic pace, and he has often bemoaned my apparent inability to just... breathe. I figured tossing my name into the ring would give me a month of being accountable in my attempts at meditation and calm. Essentially, I figured that if I said I was going to do it publicly, I would have to pony up in my claims. (Same reason this month will find me in a few other challenges.)
I had planned to spend the few days I had left in February to do a little bit of research into different meditation techniques and determine where I wanted to start. Well, to paraphrase a favored poet “the best laid plans of mice and nerds...”
Instead, the end of February found me scurrying around like a mouse in a maze – with little or no time to decide how I best should attack this challenge. As I wrote yesterday, my family is experiencing the surreal time dilation that can only be found in the anxious spiral of a death watch. Toss in – starting a new class, sick animals, a job proposal (a good thing, but a terrifying tightrope to walk), some family dramas, and the myriad of other items that have chosen just now to scream for my attention... I very nearly scraped the whole idea and said to hell with it.
Fingers poised over the send key to deliver my email retracting my participation, I stopped. While on the one hand, joining a blog challenge seems foolish. One more item to tic off each day, one for thing to get done before I catch my four hours of sleep, one more thing I frankly just didn't need. But on the other... is there really any better time to force myself to slow down and quietly work through my own thoughts then when I have pushed myself to the extreme limits of my endurance? I have several chronic health issues that make stress doubly difficult AND dangerous to my system, wouldn't that make the perfect reason behind staying with the challenge?
So, with that in mind, I reaffirm my promise to take the next thirty one days and just try to relax – if only a little. At least thirty minutes a day will be put aside for a brief moment of zen (or as close as I can get to it). I'm not sure approach I'm gonna take, that will be something I figure out over this weekend. I may even try several different methods until I find one that is a perfect fit. At the moment, I'm gonna go pour myself a glass of wine, soak myself in a hot bath, then curl up in bed with a copy of the Tao of Pooh.
That's relaxing, right?