Thursday, July 26, 2007

Project Tribble Usefullness

Okay, so to keep it in nerd terms, we have corralled the tribbles and forced them all to agree to see a family planning counselor. Their numbers are no longer rising exponentially, and we have achieved a moment of balance within our cupboards. Great. So now what do I do with them? Hmmmm? Because while they are no longer multiplying in front of my very eyes…. I still have several hundred of the beggars lurking around my home. Possibly a great many more. The common suggestion on most websites out there is to take them back to the store and have them recycle the bags for you. There are quite a few holes in that plan though. Only a few store actually have recycling boxes to toss the bags into (and more often then not its used as a regular trashcan by folks in a hurry. When that occurs, most stores just chuck the whole lot out in the dumpster.) and several of them will only recycle the bags from their specific store. Also, the common method of recycling the bags is to turn them into plastic logs – which in turn are NOT recyclable.

Instead of simply tossing these suckers in a box somewhere to be hauled to a plant, how about we see how many ways we can use them effectively? Once they have been used up, them its just a matter of keeping the drawbridge firmly closed and not allowing any more in. But until then…. Here are a few suggestions.

* Cat Litter Containment – with four cats, my first step in a less than pleasant job is to grab a bag to scoop the stuff into. Ties off and its out the door.

* Pet…. Present Retrievers – Honestly. You aren’t going to actually BUY a bag to carry when you walk you pet, are you? Frankly, I have no desire to walk up to a counter with a box of Poop Pals. Right up there with buying rash cream and anything containing the word “ointment”. Shudder. Use on of the thousands of grocery bags instead. Keeps your hands clean and well away from the foul stuff.

* Plant Pals. Strangely, a product that is terrible for the environment, can also be a great aid to it. Cut the bags into strips and use them as soft ties to keep your houseplants and tomatoes propped properly. Use wadded plastic bags in the bottom of pots to keep the soil from compacting down and to insure proper drainage. Rocks or cracked pottery are often used in the same manner, but this way is MUCH lighter. Add the soil, pop in the plant, and you’re set.

* Get crafty – Cutting the bags into strips and knotting them together will get you a giant ball of bag based yarn. Pull out your handy crochet hook or a pair of knitting needles and make yourself a lovely bag made from bags. Not only will you have a sturdy bag… the zen moment of having a bag of many bags will give you a slight tickling in the upper reaches of your frontal lobes. Try these sites for ideas - for crochet and for knitters out there.

With a little thought, we can find ways to use all the bags we’ve brought into our world, and with a little more we can keep more from appearing. It just takes a few minutes to start making a difference.

A little known scene was cut from the end of "The Trouble With Tribbles". It shows Captain Kirk being fined for passing out tribbles as gifts to any green skinned women he wanted to impress. While he never saw a dime of profit, this action was the cause behind the 'Purring Loofa' rebellion of Betalod 5.

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